A Dose of Fail

-_- So....Let me recap this week quickly. I've been sick. Went to the ER and was diagnosed with having a BAD virus running rampant in my body. The doctor gave me five different medications, all of which require being taken multiple times a day, spaced out properly to avoid overdose and to keep the medicine in me constantly. This means....sleep even though the drugs are making me tired! Tap in with James and I being at each others throats almost every day. This came to a head last night. We were screaming so much (Well, he was screaming, I was squeaking...I still sound like a chipmunk, but my voice is finally coming back) that one of our neighbors came over to see if she could help us out (she's super motherly), and the other ended up calling Security Forces. Mind you, SF never actually came to our house; They sat in their car across from our house, listening and watching. Thankfully, we gave them no reason to intervene.

The worst parts of this? A) My 4 month old marriage is already suffering and B) We were not mindful of our neighbors who both have small children. Now I feel like a rude putz.

Well, that basically sums this up. I suppose I should stop procrastinating (though I do it so very well) and take care of the neglected house work (I didn't realize how messy this house would get within just a few days) since my husband won't help me/do it himself. It's 9:34 AM and I haven't been to bed yet.....=\

[breathe] Just a few more days until I go back to NC for Christmas. The first thing I am going to do is go HOME and hug my sweet dog who's been pining for me.

Dear Husband

I am your wife, not your mother. It is not my job to clean up after you. Yes, I'm a stay at home wife, but that does not mean you are allowed to leave trash all over the place. It's not alright to leave the back door wide open so that the puppy can come and go as she please. You need to stop falling asleep on the couch with said door flung wide open. We've had this conversation repeatedly, and every time you say "I'm trying" but I don't see it. I'm not picking up after you anymore. Not your dirty clothes that you leave all over the place, or the trash. I am not, and will not touch another mess that you make. I love you, but sometimes I want to strangle you.

A Hobby -Or- Anti-Social Social Skills

Alright, so let's get one thing straight; I am not a very social person. I'd rather be by myself, or with my husband. Back in my younger days (I know, I'm young now, don't lecture!), I had a tight knit group of friends, and I was always hanging out with one person or another. Somewhere along the way, all of that came to a brutal, brake stomping halt. And for the most part, I'm alright with that...or at least I was, until earlier this year. It's funny how I'm undergoing personality changes yet again, which is a little weird. I thought I'd be/know myself by now, and apparently I don't. Now, don't mistake my words here; I'm still anti-social and socially awkward. When I'm face to face with someone I clam up, even around people that I've known for a long time. Unless I'm under the influence of alcohol. Anyway, I finally figured out a way to interact with other people in a manner that is comfortable for me and ALSO gives me a hobby to keep me busy during the day; I've started taking on penpals!

My Marriage or My Dreams?

I find myself in a sticky situation. I've come to the point where I want to start getting myself back into shape, down another 35 (ish) pounds and toned...I want to strengthen my lungs & heart (I mean this literally). My reason why isn't for vain purposes like so many others I see on tumblr (I'm not bashing you ladies, I promise, I'm glad you want bodies you can be proud of). For the past three years, after I found out I couldn't enlist in the military, I decided to go to my back up plan; I'd be a firefighter, and some day be a battalion chief. But then...I got married. See, for those of you that don't know, my husband is in the military. Right now, I'm a stay at home wife. My hopes and dreams took a back seat when I moved away from home. We've got one car between the two of us. That makes finding a job pretty hard. It makes going to college even harder. Especially because I'm terrified to drive off base (Big city traffic & roads confuse me, as does getting on the highway, which I would have to do to go to the community college up here). On one hand, I'm dying inside because I'm letting myself down. On the other hand, I'm terrified to even TRY because I don't want my relationship to fall to pieces (For those of you that are all "Oh it won't. If he loves you, he'll support you, keep reading). A military relationship in itself is stressful. Tack in another high stress job with wonky hours, and you've got a recipe for disaster. All of my female friends up here (Some married with kids, some married without) know how I feel and agree that it would be a hard thing to do...And I've semi-tried to talk to my husband about it, but I need to make up my own mind first. 

Hateful

"Thanks for reminding me of the terms of my lease agreement. Would you like a brownie?" Go ahead, take one. Their made of expensive chocolate...and parasitic dog poo. After all, you deserve it, for ratting my husband and I out to the base housing office for having guests stay with us. Dear neighbor, is it that you're jealous that I'm ten years younger than you and I can live my life freely because I didn't have kids young? Is it that you're made because I'm not as heavily built as you? Are you mad because we have friends over two times or so a week? If we're just being too loud, you can come over and say something, and as long as you do it respectfully, we'll comply. I'm sorry if we've upset you somehow...we're young, after all, and this is the first time we've been with each other longer than a week in several years...we like having fun...you should come over and say hi sometime.


Oh I am REALLY pissed, ladies & gents. In case you can't tell, I received an email from base housing this afternoon, stating that my husband and I were in violation of our lease. That's right. Now you might be wondering (but probably not) what we did to get ourselves in trouble. See, my husband and I invited his friend (a fellow military member) & the guys girlfriend to stay with us. It was better then the two of them trying to stay in the fella's dorm room, after all. However, because the duo stayed with us longer then one night and we failed to tell the housing office, we are in violation of our lease and are now at risk of being evicted. So now we have to run the couple off. Their only option is to get a hotel room or try and stay in the dorm again and hope that they don't get caught.


See if I ever try to do something nice for someone ever again. Thanks world, for turning me into a bitter bitch.