Beware of time jumps and randomness...

Because this post is going to be full of them. It's going to be VERY disjointed...and I'm sorry for that.

It's around 3:09 pm...and I'm back at the computer. Yet again, I found myself on facebook, going over everything that had been posted over the last little bit of time. And during my little jaunt onto my favorite social-networking site, I decided to update my status. In the densely worded update, I informed my 160 friends/family that I'm currently feeling guilty over not having a job, and that I wish to become employed again. The cold hard fact though is that I will be unsuccessful; I need a part-time employer that is willing to work around my hectic therapy schedule. I'm currently on suicide-watch (No shutting myself in the bathroom, therapy every week, having to be medicated by my husband because I can't be trusted with pills) and that makes this even harder. I'm starting to stress as we speak and my mood is taking a nose dive. Luckily, with the skills I've been learning in therapy, I haven't yet reached a manic state, nor have I lost control and started bawling/self-harming. I WISH I could find a job that would allow me to work from home. That..in itself, would be the most ideal. AAAAAAA! I feel like ripping my hair out. And the thing is...I don't HAVE to work. My husband would like for me to get a job, and it would help a great deal, but his pay supports us very easily. And I'd only be working for a year (My husband and I plan on having a baby next year, and I'll be a stay at home mom). 

Now that I've sat here and vented, I think it's time I get back to cleaning...I haven't even finished tidying up, let alone starting the laundry. It's going to be a LONG night for me. I'm sure to work on this post again later, perhaps after dinner or if/when I start losing control. 

3:33 pm...Guess what? I told you I was going to leave my computer, and I haven't. Yeesh! I've started looking up "AdSense" and whatnot, and I'm seriously thinking about using it (Eventually). I'm also sitting here gazing at one of the cutest faces in the world (Xaphan, who is flopped at my feet, napping the day away). 

The Time Gap!

It's been quite a while since the last time I posted here. A few months, actually. And I'd fill you in RIGHT NOW on everything that has been going on, but that would take quite a while, and I'd have nothing to write about later!

 I started a Wordpress blog yesterday, and after a bit of research, I've decided it was more worth my time to come back to blogspot, so here I am, sitting at my kitchen table, writing for the rest of the world to see! My goal is to now write everyday, even multiple times a day to touch base on my day to day life, recipes that I've prepared (reviews on said noms and pictures), and...other stuff. Yea. Other stuff.

Anyway, here are a few things I feel like you need to know: We now have a second fur-baby: Another German Shepherd by the name of Xaphan. He is five months old, and our sweet Leia is now 9 months old. Also, I've been going to therapy...so you'll be hearing a lot about that and the things that I learn while in 'treatment'. I'm also going to try and post a little about fitness, nutrition and the things I learn while trying to undergo some major weightloss and a life-transition.

The Talk

I don't know why it is, but any time my husband and I have serious topics that need to be discussed, we head for the shower. I guess it's because we're so much calmer, and it's pretty hard to get mad at someone when you're butt ass naked with them.
    I've been wanting to talk to my husband about something pretty important to me, so when he decided to get into the shower after work yesterday, I climbed in after him, picking my words carefully. When I asked "What do you think about me being a firefighter in the future?", he did not hesitate. James told me that he both likes and dislikes the idea. Dislike, because it's a dangerous job, we'd not be round each other that much anymore, and he'd have to step up and help with the house work. Because I'd have the more physically demanding job, he'd probably end up doing MOST of it. He did say that the extra income would be nice to have, though. We mulled things over for a while before I asked the next question; "Do you like my being a housewife?". The look on his face was priceless. It was one of those moments where he thought it was a loaded question, where I ask one thing but it really means something else. I started laughing and told him to just answer honestly, the question is what it is and I was just looking for his opinion. He loves having a housewife. he can come home after work and sit on the couch, doing practically nothing. He's spoiled, pampered and likes knowing that everything is taken care of. After telling me all of this though, he voiced one more statement on both topics; "You do what makes you happy. That's all I want. You. Happy."

     So now I'm at a loss. I WANT to be a firefighter/emt. I have for years, ever since the military denied my contract. I have so much ambition and drive....but at the same time I've got to take my husbands wants and needs into consideration. The fact that we're a military family also has to come into play. I want children soon...And I think the base fire departments are all military run. There are SO many factors that come in to play with this. I think I'm going to go to the "Airman and Family Readiness Center" and see what they might be able to help me with. If ANYONE knows the answer to the bold/underlined question, can you PLEASE send me an email at unholyxombie@gmail.com ? 

Boring blog is Boring

So...this is me...brainstorming...

You can almost see my mind attempting to string to coherent

thoughts together...

I'm not really sure what to talk about on this blog =| I don't really do anything interesting, and very little happens to me these days. Ugh -_- I wish I had some ideas to spice this thing up!