Opinions

I made the rather simple mistake of voicing my opinion...on the internet. After viewing a hate filled video on youtube, I had the gall to make a post stating how I felt about said video. Yes, I probably took it a bit far, and should have taken greater care to word my statement better. I've received several hateful responses, most of which refer to me as "ignorant". Every single time someone responded to my comment, and email notification would be sent to my phone. Here it is, 3 in the morning, and I'm getting hate mail.  Needless to say, I'm tired of it, even after only a few days. So my youtube account has come down, and I will refrain from making another one, at least for a while. I suppose the hate mail is karma's way of trying to show me that I was wrong for leaving a sour comment on a video =\

I can't even begin to tell you how much the hateful words of another human being hurts, even when its through a medium such as the internet. Every word digs in under my skin, like a mite, and just sticks there. The few seconds of satisfaction someone might receive from trashing me leaves me aching, second guessing myself and my own personality & attitude. Especially when I'm woken from a nice, fuzzy sleep by the bright chirping of my phone, just to be knocked in the stomach (Metaphorically speaking, of course).

The worst part of all of this? It's not just the sting of other people's words...it's the fact that my husband had to remind me that I'm making myself a target for hate, and that the subject matter I commented on could potentially put the both of us in danger. "Security risk" is a phrase heavily used by James when he attempts to explain why what I did was wrong.

In case you're wondering....A few days ago, I viewed a video where a young female denounced our government and stated that she did not support our troops. She called them ignorant, evil and morally compromised. Being the wife & grand daughter of wonderful men who served in the military, her words brought my blood to a frothing boil. So I left a comment stating something that I believed to be truth (thanks to the news channels I've watched over the years)...and was instantly bashed down.

So now, with my tail tucked firmly between my legs, I'm taking what little bit I have left of my pride and heading off to drown my mind in cartoons. Thank you, youtube, for trashing any desire I had to voice my own opinions to the world.

Clueless

I'm in a pretty foul mood. And of course, it's husband related (Almost all of my ill moods are...). Right now, he's on the couch, doing what young men do best (Playing the Xbox), and I'm over at my make-shift desk, trying to ignore his very existence when I hear "Do you want to have sex?". Needless to say, I promptly responded with "No." A few seconds later, he says "Do you want to make love?"....Again, another no is awarded to him.


Update: Originally, I had planned on sleeping downstairs...it's cold though...so I ended up creeping into the master bedroom, intending of course to be standoffish and ignore my husband. After twenty minutes of laying as far from him as possible on the bed, I feel his elbow bump mine. So I bump him back. A quiet nudge war ensued...and before five minutes had passed, that butt-head slid over and put his had on my shoulder, announcing that he was going to snore in my ear.

Yes, I'm still mad at him, but it's hard to actually vocalize/appear to be so when he does things like this. Rather unfortunately, I'm not exhausted enough to sleep, so for the moment I am back downstairs, perusing Netflix and reading "Little Women".

A Dose of Fail

-_- So....Let me recap this week quickly. I've been sick. Went to the ER and was diagnosed with having a BAD virus running rampant in my body. The doctor gave me five different medications, all of which require being taken multiple times a day, spaced out properly to avoid overdose and to keep the medicine in me constantly. This means....sleep even though the drugs are making me tired! Tap in with James and I being at each others throats almost every day. This came to a head last night. We were screaming so much (Well, he was screaming, I was squeaking...I still sound like a chipmunk, but my voice is finally coming back) that one of our neighbors came over to see if she could help us out (she's super motherly), and the other ended up calling Security Forces. Mind you, SF never actually came to our house; They sat in their car across from our house, listening and watching. Thankfully, we gave them no reason to intervene.

The worst parts of this? A) My 4 month old marriage is already suffering and B) We were not mindful of our neighbors who both have small children. Now I feel like a rude putz.

Well, that basically sums this up. I suppose I should stop procrastinating (though I do it so very well) and take care of the neglected house work (I didn't realize how messy this house would get within just a few days) since my husband won't help me/do it himself. It's 9:34 AM and I haven't been to bed yet.....=\

[breathe] Just a few more days until I go back to NC for Christmas. The first thing I am going to do is go HOME and hug my sweet dog who's been pining for me.

Love & Hate

Yesterday sucked. I’ve quite possibly got pneumonia, and my husband comes home from work and what do we do? Automatically start bickering. This exploded into a huge fight…and ended up with both of us in tears. After things settled down and we went to sleep for the night (We did not and will not talk about yesterday), he mumbled “Can you hold me?” So I did, until he fell asleep. After that, I rolled over to read my kindle…and next thing I know, he’s got both arms around me and his head on my boobs. What a dork. We might hate each other some days…but we’ll always love each other. 

Crap.

I'm sick as a dog, and there are things that need to be taken care of around the house. I haven't had a decent amount of sleep in quite a few days. >=( I've managed to take care of cleaning up downstairs. Now I'm just attempting to find the energy to get the laundry started so that my husband can have some clean clothes to wear after work. The sad thing is, I've completely lost my appetite, so the energy I need? Yea, it doesn't exist. I'm just happy to be sitting upright at the moment.

Why is it so hard to make a doctors appointment on this base? Blegh. There are several things that I want to speak to a doctor about. I think I'm just going to wait until I go home in 14 days...My doctor back in NC takes walk-ins every single morning between 5 & 7. WHY isn't there a doctor like that here? Being sick has made me miss home so much more than I ever thought possible. It sucks. For as eager as I was to get away from my family, I now find myself filled with regret.

Anyway, I guess I'm going to try and get some more housework done...then I'm going to join my puppy for a nap (I made the bed earlier, and her little butt jumped right up and fell asleep against the stack of pillows).