Today Is the Day

Day 1 (30 Day Challenge)

My names is Jessica. Jessa, Jess or Jessie for short.
I’m 20 years old and recently married.
I’ve got an adorable german shepherd puppy named Leia.
I don’t like where I’m living currently and can’t wait to move. 
I recently put myself on a diet & started to exercise.
I’m a anti-social book worm who likes to play video games.
I also enjoy writing letters and have several penpals =) 

Alright, so now to tell you....that I got up and did another round of "Couch to 5k". And I hate to say it, but I almost didn't make it =( I think I might drop having 'down days'. I know that's not healthy, but I feel like my lungs need to be worked every day, if that makes any sense. I have NO idea what my weight currently is, though I plan on going to the gym with my husband soon just to find out (Or maybe the doctors office...). Anyway, today was a pretty level kind of day. I have a few things to take care of today; Leia has an appointment at the vets office, the floors need sweeping & the up stairs bathroom needs to be cleaned. After that (And dinner later on) I plan on doing a wholeeee bunch of nothing. 

The Talk

I don't know why it is, but any time my husband and I have serious topics that need to be discussed, we head for the shower. I guess it's because we're so much calmer, and it's pretty hard to get mad at someone when you're butt ass naked with them.
    I've been wanting to talk to my husband about something pretty important to me, so when he decided to get into the shower after work yesterday, I climbed in after him, picking my words carefully. When I asked "What do you think about me being a firefighter in the future?", he did not hesitate. James told me that he both likes and dislikes the idea. Dislike, because it's a dangerous job, we'd not be round each other that much anymore, and he'd have to step up and help with the house work. Because I'd have the more physically demanding job, he'd probably end up doing MOST of it. He did say that the extra income would be nice to have, though. We mulled things over for a while before I asked the next question; "Do you like my being a housewife?". The look on his face was priceless. It was one of those moments where he thought it was a loaded question, where I ask one thing but it really means something else. I started laughing and told him to just answer honestly, the question is what it is and I was just looking for his opinion. He loves having a housewife. he can come home after work and sit on the couch, doing practically nothing. He's spoiled, pampered and likes knowing that everything is taken care of. After telling me all of this though, he voiced one more statement on both topics; "You do what makes you happy. That's all I want. You. Happy."

     So now I'm at a loss. I WANT to be a firefighter/emt. I have for years, ever since the military denied my contract. I have so much ambition and drive....but at the same time I've got to take my husbands wants and needs into consideration. The fact that we're a military family also has to come into play. I want children soon...And I think the base fire departments are all military run. There are SO many factors that come in to play with this. I think I'm going to go to the "Airman and Family Readiness Center" and see what they might be able to help me with. If ANYONE knows the answer to the bold/underlined question, can you PLEASE send me an email at unholyxombie@gmail.com ? 

Fail!

Last night, my husband and I ran our friends off so that we could spend the rest of the evening cleaning up the house. We climbed into bed a little before 9pm and lay here watching movies and playing video games. Well, I was pretty sleepy....or so I thought. T_T I didn't fall asleep into almost 5 this morning, even with only getting around 5 hours of sleep the night before. GAH! So of course I didn't get out of the bed until almost two this afternoon, which means I won't be sleeping again tonight. I might as well take down a few energy drinks and stay up for twenty four hours.

In other news, as I was leaving to go do another day of "Couch to 5k", the UPS man pulls onto our street. I froze; cue the instant deer in the headlights look. He pulls around in front of our house...and stops! So I took off at a dead run for the house. And sure enough, there it was, perfectly balanced on top of the trash can lid...The Kindle Touch that my husband ordered for me as a Christmas present. Oh my god I could scream in delight. So I took the package inside and put it down on the coffee table...because of course, I've been forbidden to open it until Christmas, but STILL! It's HERE! After spending a few minutes squealing in absolute delight, I locked the house back up and took the pup out for exercise....and found that today didn't take as much of a toll on my body. After one day? Really? It must just be my state of mind. I feel GREAT right now, though!

This means that tomorrow is a down day, and that actually makes me a little

sad =( 

On the first half of our little jaunt, Leia and I were stopped by two guys that work for the base's Housing Maintenance. They inquired about my puppy, asking about the breed (even though it's painfully obvious), wanted to know if she was full blooded (I almost said Pure Blood....too much Harry Potter for me...), and how much we paid for her. Then they cooed over the puppy. She ate up the attention like she's starving for it.

Anon Hate

So apparently because I play Runescape, I'm fat.
Because I haven't posted pictures of my husband and myself on Tumblr, apparently I'm lying that about being married.
Because I won't post pictures of myself, I must be ugly.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY? REALLY?!
[end mini-rant]

Anyway, I just started doing "Couch to 5k" today. I'm super tired and my lungs/head sorta hurt, but that's alright, because I actually feel GREAT. I took our puppy with me, and she really seemed happy to be jogging. It was funny, because on the way back to the house, a K-9 security forces unit drove by and their dog went crazy barking at Leia, and my little princess of a pup just looked at the car like "What the fuck is your problem, you 'jelly' or something?" it was so funny.

Just Do It.

Alright, so first and for most, let me say one thing. I am...a very lazy person. BUT when I do work, I'm a very dedicated person. Ever since I got married, I've been a 'housewife'. Three months of no work has lead to a very rapid weight gain. I'm roughly five foot six inches tall, and I'd wager I am now around 175 pounds. This does NOT make me happy. So, I'm going to start a "Couch to 5k" training program, AND do pilates, while also using a speed rope for cardio. I'm super stoked to start this! =) It's 5 am on Saturday morning..and I haven't been to bed yet, so...I'm thinking about putting this off until Monday, but...I think I've procrastinated enough. 

Thanksgiving at Midnight(ish)

Sooo...it's my first holiday away from home and I'm....28 minutes into it...and I'm very...very drunk. Thus making this day hard easy to deal with. Yay for my husband making screwdrivers! <3 ^___^

Super Sad

It's just not been my week. I went from being super angry yesterday to super sad today.

See, I try not to call home a  lot, because it makes me really homesick...I've only been gone for a few months, and my logic is that if I go longer and longer without interaction, the pain will lessen. Today, though,  I was super excited about the fact that I'd found the perfect Christmas gift for my Mama.  So I sent her a text, telling her I got her a gift and she messages me back, asking why. I told her it's because she's my mama and I love her, and she responded with "I wasn't a very good one..." which is the truth, really, but I still love her none the less. Well, not knowing how to respond to her comment, I simply left the conversation off until I could get home and call her. Before I had the chance, though, she messaged me again saying "Did your grandmother tell her I had to have Baby (her 11 year old cat) put to sleep? I can't stand walking into the house anymore because he's not there...". Ya'll, this cat use to sit on the kitchen table in my moms house and say "Hello" when he heard her at the door and then "Mama" when he saw her.  I've heard him do it.  Her other cat is confused and at a loss; he doesn't know what to do without his buddy.  The worst part is the fact that my mom IS so upset and I'm too far away to do anything that could possibly help  her feel better. When I got home, I curled up on the couch and started crying; my husband ended up pulling me into his lap and just let me lay there and bawl my eyes out. I feel like CRAP and I want to go back to North Carolina so very badly right now. 

Of course, it doesn't help that tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and this is the first major holiday that I have spent away from home. =(  My heart has a really big super sad right now.

Unacceptable.

When your wife is pissed off, you do not go down stairs and cut on the xbox and plug in your headset. When you've upset someone you care about, you're suppose to try and make the situation better, not say "There is nothing I can do about it!" and walk off. Being inconsiderate is what made me mad in the first place, repeating the offence just hammers the last nail into the coffin lid.

In the past few months, my husband has made me regret getting married more times than I can count. I don't believe in divorce unless there are outstanding circumstances, so I'm just going to have to bite the bullet and keep pressing on. I thought 20 would be an acceptable age to marry someone, after being in a relationship with them for almost five years. I was, apparently, quite wrong.

Here is to hoping that things get better. Or that I drop dead of some mysterious ailment. Whichever comes first.

Boring blog is Boring

So...this is me...brainstorming...

You can almost see my mind attempting to string to coherent

thoughts together...

I'm not really sure what to talk about on this blog =| I don't really do anything interesting, and very little happens to me these days. Ugh -_- I wish I had some ideas to spice this thing up!

Dear Husband

I am your wife, not your mother. It is not my job to clean up after you. Yes, I'm a stay at home wife, but that does not mean you are allowed to leave trash all over the place. It's not alright to leave the back door wide open so that the puppy can come and go as she please. You need to stop falling asleep on the couch with said door flung wide open. We've had this conversation repeatedly, and every time you say "I'm trying" but I don't see it. I'm not picking up after you anymore. Not your dirty clothes that you leave all over the place, or the trash. I am not, and will not touch another mess that you make. I love you, but sometimes I want to strangle you.

=O Well Hello Again, Forgotten Blog!

Disclaimer: Any pictures used here are NOT mine. They belong to the game Runescape, run by Jagex

For this, I am sorry...I'll try to run a better blog, I swear!

So...today, my husband bought himself Saints Row 3 and a remote controlled helicopter....
So in return, I asked for one thing.
My bamboo drawing tablet, for the computer.
And guess what?
He got it!!!

Now all I need is talent, because I really can't draw worth a damn.

Up until this point, I've been trying to run two separate blogs....One for personal stuff, and one for my gaming addiction & alternate persona. I haven't been doing well, trying to juggle things. So, I've decided to mash both blogs together! =D 

This makes for a happy me! 

Anyway, that's about all I have to say right now...the husband & puppy are heading to bed, so I guess that means I have to go too! 

A Hobby -Or- Anti-Social Social Skills

Alright, so let's get one thing straight; I am not a very social person. I'd rather be by myself, or with my husband. Back in my younger days (I know, I'm young now, don't lecture!), I had a tight knit group of friends, and I was always hanging out with one person or another. Somewhere along the way, all of that came to a brutal, brake stomping halt. And for the most part, I'm alright with that...or at least I was, until earlier this year. It's funny how I'm undergoing personality changes yet again, which is a little weird. I thought I'd be/know myself by now, and apparently I don't. Now, don't mistake my words here; I'm still anti-social and socially awkward. When I'm face to face with someone I clam up, even around people that I've known for a long time. Unless I'm under the influence of alcohol. Anyway, I finally figured out a way to interact with other people in a manner that is comfortable for me and ALSO gives me a hobby to keep me busy during the day; I've started taking on penpals!